Back With The Priests, Final Plans, and a
Killing or Two is Reported...
Nearer the middle of the Month of Frostfall,
The Inn of the Pink Nymph.
(Enter Prologue, the Adventurer, Ortho, Nephron,
the Five Armorers, and Prologue)
Prologue: Our roguish Dark Elf, the Adventurer
has plummeted before our stunned eyes, from the king of the
spider web of intrigue to a pathetic, crawling lump of Argonian
excrement. In the quest for Fools' Ebony, that substance that
all would kill for, the Adventurer attempted to play Mage
against Priest with the help of the merchant Nephron. Alas,
that is to say, alackaday, the five armorers have trapped
Nephron and the Adventurer and taken over their scheme. The
hulking Ortho now watches the Adventurer's every move. But
I get the feeling -- to be honest, don't you? -- that beneath
the Adventurer's defeated quivering jelly lurks a jungle cat
of such cunning and resource to shatter all his enemies when
the time is right. Of course, I could be wrong. Ah, I see
one of the priests of Akatosh who believes himself a friend
of the Adventurer. I, Prologue must away.
(Exit Prologue) (Enter Lheban, a Priest of
Lheban: Evening there, mind if I join you?
Adventurer: Well ... since you already
have - no. And where is our esteemed brother Komon this chill
Lheban: You mean you haven't heard -- Oh,
I guess you have been busy with the ... preparations?
Adventurer: Right, right, very busy...
Lheban: Then let me tell you -- Oh, what
a bad business. What trouble ... Oh Dear ... Well ... you
doubtless recall that poor Komon had this ... er ... problem
-- overwork of course!
Adventurer: Oh yes -- you fellows do work
exceeding hard, seems to me.
Lheban: Well ... recall how Komon left,
somewhat erratically as it were, and ... er ... made off with
that young blondie under the lamppost outside? Well -- in
his ... er ... state of confusion - he grabbed the wrong blondie
- Oh My, indeed the wrong one ...
Adventurer: They all look pretty much the
same to me, but of course, I do not look too hard!
Lheban: Oh My! Well, to cut a short tale
to the bone, old Komon grabbed a Contessa, who had thought
to 'disguise herself.' Oh Dear!
Adventurer: Well -- did she get away? Did
they catch Komon? What happened?
Lheban: Well, old Komon, tipsy as he was,
was quick as spit in a gale. Eluded all pursuit, took the
lady to a small private ... retreat house that we have. Oh
Dear Me! Well, the City Guards, Palace guards, half a dozen
Royals, all caught up with Komon 3 days later. One day too
late for the poor Contessa -- I hear that they had a hard
time locating all the ... er ... bits and pieces. Komon was
there, passed out cold. And another body, some common blond
lamppost girl. And by now he is cold -- permanently, most
likely at the bottom of the Bay.
Adventurer: Oh well. Serves the Contessa
right, coming down to this area. But I suppose that there
(Enter two more Priests, Raic and Stete of
Julianos, and four armed City Guards.)
Raic: Evening, Lheban. Evening, Adventurer.
Ortho: Me am Ortho.
Raic: Yesss. Charmed. And Lheban, you indeed
have my sympathies ... if there is anything we can do to help
-- our Temple of Julianos, that is ..? But really, you should
have kept Komon on a tighter leash - or preferably a noose!
Adventurer: Hello Raic. And hello to you,
Stete - how's your sister?
Stete: Oh, she's great.
(Raic sets Stete on fire, but it goes out)
Lheban: Yes, I know I know. Oh the repercussions!
Do you know that the Priests of Akatosh to Daggerfall Castle,
Wayrest Palace and just about everywhere else have all been
thrown out? That the Royal tax exemption for the Chantry has
been revoked? That the Akatosh Chantry has just received a
'past due taxes' bill? Oh My!
Adventurer: Well ... I suppose that we
could help somewhat, maybe? Maybe a small loan from Julianos
for that tax bill? With, say, a Temple as security? Oh --
are not the taxes based on the number of the Priests of Akatosh?
So, maybe ... the School of Julianos could take over a ...
significant number? Reduce your tax bill? You realize that
this is not the best time for this -- just as we need a lot
of funds for that expedition that I am arranging for you.
Lheban: Oh, I am so sorry about Komon!
But, yes, maybe if good brother Raic could -- I hate to say
this -- take over a greater share of the financial burden
..? In return, of course, for ... er ... considerations ..?
Raic: Hmm. Like a good number of 'permanently'
loaned priests? A long look at your books? At your cellar?
Your name-lists? A Temple as security on our loan? And, of
course, a bigger cut in the proceeds of this ... expedition?
Names of your ... er ... suppliers ..?
Lheban: Oh. I foresaw something like this,
talked a bit about it with old Mucky-Muck - livid, he was.
But, as I am a Senior Brother, he finally authorized me to
'take care of it.' Those weren't his exact words, mind you,
which were quite a bit ...longer, more explicit ... but the
gist, at least.
Adventurer: Of course, Lheban. If -- and
note I say 'if' -- if we are successful, why then you can
easily get back into good graces at the Palace. Merely sell
them the goods, as a good low rate! With first refusal on
any shipment you have? What's one Contessa to them, anyway?
Lheban: Yes, yes! That could work! Worth
a try. But how? Royals will not talk to anyone from the Akatosh
Adventurer: Leave that to me, I can make
... approaches to certain ones. Yes, I can probably persuade
them to let up on the Chantry, in return for... future favors
Lheban: Oh, Oh how can I thank you?
Adventurer: Well, I need a fair amount
of gold to finish setting up my little trip. Maybe 10,000?
Special horses, reinforced carts, cartiers, guards ... the
list goes on and on. And the cost of keeping our little trip
quiet is really quite high.
Lheban: Well, yes, we can afford it, I
guess -- you do have the map now, don't you? I know we can
afford 8,000 gold. Given the potential profits ...
Adventurer: Rest easy! - it's all here
in my cloak -- show you in a bit. I've also managed to ...
hire some good young hefty fellows, like old Ortho here, to
manage the carts, dig and load, act as guards, and so on ...
Lheban: Good, good - I can relax a bit.
Oh my, the fellows back at the Chantry will be so relieved.
We really owe you, the Brotherhood does -- Oh, I mean the
Akatosh Chantry, of course!
Stete: Brotherhood ..? What about our sisterhood,
(Raic grapples Stete, allowing Lheban to hit
Stete with a large mallet)
Adventurer: Well, Raic, what about you
and the School? How much are you good for, the extra 2000?
And maybe some more - always lots of last minute
expenses on a trip like this, you know.
Raic: Well now. Since we seem to getting
a whole extra sect of Priests, and ... other considerations
Adventurer: Well, gentlemen -- Oh, and
Stete -- here it is!
(The Adventurer pulls out a map, gives it
Oh, by the Arms of Zenithar, did I ever
have to work hard for this! Those cagey Mages! But, in the
end, just greedy old fools! ... Oh, just in case you or your,
er, Head Priest, hasn't seen the goods -- here's a sample.
Play with it.
(The Adventurer hands Raic a small leather
Raic: Thank you, thank you. I must admit,
I had some ... well, some doubts. You know - dealing with
a stranger, so on ... No more. Partner!
Adventurer: Good, good!
Stete: Say, you fellows ever hear this
one -- what's a Priest keep under his robe? Haha -- His sister!
(The Adventurer, Lheban, and Raic beat Stete
Raic: You know, I fear that we really have
to do something about young Stete here ... his sister thing
Adventurer: Yes, he could be another Komon
-- just what don't need!
Lheban: Hmmmm. This sister of his -- does
she really -- exist?
Raic: Oh yes. My. Oh yes. We know her well
- I mean, we have often seen her ...
Lheban: I think, Brother, that she should
be made to see the errors of her ways. So she is no longer
an influence on Stete ...
Raic: Yes, most certainly ... Hmmm ...
Lheban: A somewhat Dibelytical theological
point -- Oh, please excuse the technical discussion here -
Raic, if we are to make her see the errors -- well, how shall
I put it -- we first have to know just what the ... ways ...
Raic: Indeed, an astute observation! Hmmm
... so you are suggesting that ... in a nut, we should first
determine her ... ways, so as to be able to then show her
the ... er ... errors?
Lheban: Precisely! Mind you, a difficult,
ardous, tiring project, I fear. One that will take all our
... will and energy.
Raic: Hmmm, true. But challenging, eh?
Take all our time - but then, we shall have some time, while
friend the Adventurer here is off hauling and carting.
Lheban: And ... I personally, would feel
far safer if we were ... in retreat maybe. Studying the ways
Adventurer: Yeah -- be a good idea for
you two to, maybe, disappear? For a while, of course. Cut
down on the chances of a ... rival faction catching on? Or
Raic: Very well! Lheban, why don't you
and I take his sister off with us on a ... theological retreat,
as it were? Study the ways in details, and so on ...
Lheban: We could go to that unused little
Temple, up on that shoulder of Edward's Mountain ... out of
the way, quiet ...
Raic: Door has locks ...
Lheban: Thick walls ...
Raic: A big cellar ...
Lheban: Good! It's settled then. A theological
retreat! Oh goody!
Raic: Of course, once we know the ... er
... ways in detail, we can of course tell old High Mucky-Muck,
and let him take care of the ... er ... showing of the errors
..? Yes, that would improve his mood quite a bit ...
Lheban: Then it's agreed. Let's start,
say, day after tomorrow?
Raic: Yes! Adventurer, why don't I meet
you at, oh, that horrid ugly statue of ... what on Tamriel
is it? - a harpy and a gargoyle? Called something silly like
'Vendigao and Her Lover' or some such? Up in the north west
corner of the town. Oh, and can I keep the map?
Adventurer: Sure, keep it, I have a copy.
And you will pass me a small bag, there at that nasty statue?
Raic: Have it all ready for you -- say,
ten o'clock sharp? Oh, Lheban, another thought about young
Stete here. He really needs some ... seasoning in the field,
one might say ...?
Lheban: Hmmm. Good point ... I know! The
priest who handles field assignments is coming by tomorrow.
We could arrange an ... educational ...assignment for Stete?
Raic: Very good! But where ... hmmm ...
Winter's coming soon now. There's a vacancy up in Solitude,
far north Skyrim, I believe. Night collections at street corners,
or some such. Very Good! Come on, Lheban. We have accounts
to work on. Good night to you then, Adventurer. Ten tomorrow
morning! (Lheban, Raic rise to leave, picking up Stete)
Lheban and Raic (Together): ... have to
arrange some supplies ... ... leather, rope ... holy wine
.... ... lots of that pink powder ... I prefer the green,
(Exeunt Lheban, Raic dragging Stete, and City
Adventurer: Excellent. Went just as I said
it would. Got 5000 gold from them. And, thanks to your work
with that Contessa ... we have the screws on the Chantry.
And the School of Julianos is going to be ... otherwise engaged
... on a theological retreat. More like a Sanguine retreat!
Nephron: And those Mages Shub and Shub
seem to have disappeared ...
Adventurer: So we are set?
Nephron: Yes, you can come by my warehouse
tomorrow afternoon. Have the heavy carts waiting.
Ortho: And Ortho ...
Nephron: Oh yes, must not forget you fellows.
How kind of you to ... volunteer your services ...
Adventurer: Tomorrow, then!
(Exeunt omnes) (Last person to leave looks
just like a Royal in disguise ...) (Enter Epilogue)
Epilogue: Well, we only have one part left
to this play and I've run out counting the number of loose
strings. Either Part the Sixth is going to be eight hours
long, or we're going to leave some parts unsolved. I for one
hope that they don't chose to drop the character of the Wanton
Contessa. For Jephre's sake, she's been on the Dramatis Personae
since Part the Oneth. Ah, well. Nobody leave your seat. Your
gold will not be refunded. Any gold you can spare to tip your
friendly wenches will be greatly appreciated. We just have
a quick costume change and a set to put together and we'll
be back. In the meanwhile, enjoy our bard's rendition of the
Nordic classic "Alas, The Fleeting Years Glide By."
So Endeth Part The Five
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